It’s still hard to give a precise definition of parental burn-out. But at Heloa, we try to define it with the help of feedback from parents.
Parental burn-out
- Unlike depression, which can affect all spheres of life, parental burn-out is intimately linked to the family rather than the workplace.
- Both parents can be affected, unlike the baby blues (linked to a woman’s hormones) or post-partum depression. The latter mainly affects women, and is estimated to affect 100,000 women a year in France.
- It can affect parents at any time in their family life, and sometimes much later than we might think. For example, it can occur when a new child joins the household, or when your child starts school or college.
- It is essentially linked to prolonged stress (mental overload) lasting several weeks or even months.
What are the symptoms of parental burnout?
– Severe sleep disturbances, with intense fatigue. This is to be distinguished from “simple” parenting fatigue. In fact, this is why few parents pay attention to their symptoms: they consider their fatigue to be normal, given their long days (between work and family management).
– Psychological distress, a feeling of being “flat” from the moment you wake up in the morning.
– General physical and emotional exhaustion, loss of concentration, inability to think or make decisions.
– Various other symptoms sometimes very similar to those of depression.
What are the consequences of parental burn-out?
– You find it less and less fun to do activities with your children.
– You pay less attention to your children when they talk to you. You tend to get distracted or not live in the moment.
– You may feel less affectionate towards your children or your partner, which will lead to guilt about not living up to expectations.
– Sometimes people feel that they fail at everything they do as a parent. The result is a loss of self-esteem and a sense of failure.
– The parent suffering from parental burn-out will, in turn, have an impact on the second parent or on the children. This can have consequences for the couple’s relationship, as well as for the children’s psychological well-being and development. Some studies even link this to the high divorce rate after the arrival of a child in the home. A parent who is saturated or completely absent in his or her parenting will have an impact on the second parent. The latter will have to compensate for the workload, which can lead to almost daily arguments within the couple.
That’s why it’s so important to talk to those around you or to healthcare professionals (psychologists or psychiatrists) as soon as you feel the need.
To find out more about maternal burnout:
Discover the Ifop x Heloa study on French women and maternal burn-out in 2022.
All you need to know
How to avoid parental burnout?
At Heloa, our parenting experts can’t stress this enough, but it’s vital to listen to yourself and communicate with your partner as soon as you feel you’ve reached a point of overload in your family management. This will help you find the first solutions.
Then, in the My Intimacy area of the Heloa app (downloadable free of charge), we share our key tips with you:
- Knowing how to take time just for you, without feeling guilty – learning to forget your family and your other half for a few minutes or hours, to refocus on yourself.
- Understand your fatigue and how to take care of yourself.
- Make quality time for your relationship.
- Above all, give up trying to do too much for your family.
- Finally, talk to those around you or consult a healthcare professional – a psychiatrist or psychologist is the best person to help you.
All our little secrets are in Heloa, the application that takes care of you 😉
We also have a podcast channel featuring testimonials from parents. Among other things, they talk about their psychological well-being at different moments in their family life. You may be surprised to find that you’re not the only parent in this situation! Click here 👇
Editors: the Heloa team